THE HUMOROUS GUIDE: HOW TO SUNBATHE LIKE A CAT

Source: Pexels by Marcin Gierbisz

Cats love to sunbathe, often taking in as much sun as possible in some of the best and often the weirdest places. They know how to do it right! 

And so, here are the three best ways to enjoy sunbathing like a cat so that you too can enjoy the sun in the most peculiar ways.  

1. Finding the right spot

Finding the right spot is the first thing you have to do.  

If you’re looking to sunbathe inside, then finding a space near a window or an area of the floor where light is hitting would be the way to go.  

But if you’ve decided outside is the place for you, jump out the nearest window for a quick exit. Or from the top floor window that leads onto a roof. Alternatively, fit yourself through a tiny flap to get outside. Or scratch on the door hundreds of times whilst screaming your head off to get someone to open the door for you. Once accomplished, you will be outside (well done, you!).  

2. Finding the best position

Once you’ve found the best place, you’ll need to find the best position to get the most out of the light and heat.  

If inside, drop yourself to the floor (preferably calmly, unless you’re going for the “crazy person” drop) and lay on your side. After a while, alternate between laying on your back and front with the slow-motion roll. This will help avoid any stiffness whilst ensuring the sun hits every part of you. 

If outside, pace back and forth to make sure you’ve found the best spot. Then roll over onto your back with your hands and legs up in the air. And if anyone asks what the hell you’re doing, don’t tell them you’re acting like a cat. Because I’m pretty sure the next place you’ll be sunbathing is from inside an institute (you know the kind I’m talking about).  

Whilst on your back, be sure your stomach (belly) is up, in the direction of the sun. Unlike most cats, you hardly have much hair to protect you, so be careful not to get sunburnt. Unless you’re going for the weirdly dark bronze trying-to-kill-yourself kind of look.  

3. Making sounds at everything around you 

Last but not least, a good sunbathe wouldn’t be great without making a few sounds at everything and anything around you.  

The ideal would be a few chattering or “brrrr” sounds. If you’re directing those sounds at people, make sure not to get slapped or punched. Unlike cats, who are cute when making sounds (also known as the sounds of their people), you probably won’t be and will most likely offend a lot of people. If that’s the case, then good luck because there are no tips to help you get out of any hole you dig yourself in. But hey! Have fun, you! 

Disclaimer

I am no expert in knowing how to sunbathe like a cat or how to enjoy it the way a cat does, nor am I a cat. But these three tips may help you achieve the best results whilst also potentially helping you get sunburnt, overheated, slapped or possibly arrested. You’re welcome! 

Stay tuned for the next instalment of The Humorous Guide!

Published by Devi DM

Inspiration and creativity allow me to do what I love. Whether it's writing poetry, lyrics, songs or articles that I enjoy, and brings joy to others' lives and makes them feel good. I've received various qualifications and accreditations and enjoy learning something new every day. I hope you enjoy the read and know you are appreciated.

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