Source: Unsplash by Gadiel Lazcano

The term depression can often appear quite scary because of the many different kinds and the way it can consume us emotionally and mentally. It could be due to stressful events, loneliness, family history etc. – the list goes on.

If you take the time to research it, you’ll come across facts about how it affects us and why it happens etc. I’m not sure if anyone could predict how long would our depression last.

Two years ago, I was depressed and it affected me a lot. I had changed therapists three times and they were all helpful throughout my therapy sessions. I’ve quit therapy for a year; it’s not that I’ve healed, though. My depression manifested in crying for hours and it was a lot for me to process. I had to bite my arms so I would stop crying; I would cry before going to bed under the blanket; I used to hate being home alone because it would trigger my negative emotions and even bring about suicidal thoughts. I’m grateful that I survived through those days, despite not being able to figure out the reason behind my depression or what triggers it at the timne.

I knew I needed love and affection and it helped when I opened up about things during my therapy sessions or spoke with my friend. Truthfully, I was ashamed about my mental health – back then, I wasn’t okay with my colleagues knowing I was in therapy. It represented the deeper issue of mental health neglect in society. It felt like everything was dark and I was being sucked into a black hole. There seemed no hope, just darkness.

We suffer from depression and aren’t attention seekers. Sometimes, we need a friend who would listen to us. Yes, we need help, but we are hesitant. We suffer in silence because we think about others and do not put ourselves first, but there are so many wonderful people out there ready to help us. They love us and care about us. It could be your family, a friend or a colleague. We all deserve a chance to live, and depression can take that away from us, often unknowingly.

I am no expert nor therapist qualified to tell you exactly how to deal with it. We are all different and our methods of coping with things are different too. It’s not that I’ve completely overcome depression; I wanted to see how can I handle it on my own. Of course, some days are really difficult and I wish I could go back to therapy if I could afford it. But, I’ve tried to journal my thoughts, which helps to keep me calm for a bit.

There’s no cure for depression but there are plenty of ways to help ourselves feel better.

When I got into depression I started reading self-help books. It would keep my mind occupied. Some of my favourite authors are Jay Shetty, Vex King and Brianna Wiest. Their books are insightful and I love to read them. I don’t like other genres such as fantasy or romance because, for me, I don’t want to escape reality: I want to face it. I’m not sure where I read this quote, but I’ve become attached to those words and found a deeper meaning in it, so I’ll leave you with this.

“Sometimes, we live for the days we die for.”

Published by Asmaa Karani

I like to write when I feel low. I love reading self-help books. High tides. Good vibes.

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