Well, it’s that time of year again! The air is misty, the lights are dim, and the cobwebs appear amongst piles of pumpkins and fallen leaves. It’s also that eerily magical time of year to scare the life out of little children.
So, be sure the lights are turned on in your house and add a few decorations outside. That way, it will be obvious you’re celebrating Halloween and encourage trick-or-treaters to come knocking, whilst setting the mood for what’s about to happen.
Finally, make sure there are actually kids living around where you live. Otherwise, you’ll end up doing all this for no reason (I mean, that level of stupidity amazes me).
Once you’ve managed to complete your checks and preparations, move on to the following tips:
1. It’s all about the Halloween hands
As dusk dawns and night falls, trick-or-treaters will head out in droves. So, be sure to get yourself some witch gloves or something that looks similar, like some black gloves with pointed tips.
If need be, grow your nails, add some paint, and maybe even make yourself some warts to glue on your hands (because going over the top is just what you need in life).
Once you’ve got the perfect witch hands, wait for the trick-or-treaters to arrive. Once you hear that knock or doorbell ring, stick your hand out of the post box and try to grab them.
You can also use hairy hands, either by cutting your hair and attempting to glue them to your hands or buying some fake hands and hair. If you’re clever (let’s hope so), you would have thought to buy some realistic gorilla gloves or hands that would actually fit through the post box.
2. The costume to scare them all
From ghosts to ghouls, witches to werewolves, there are so many ways to dress up for a spooky and petrifying Halloween. But I’d suggest getting dressed as the grim reaper or a zombie (preferably a few hours before trick-or-treating starts, or you’ll miss the whole thing).
Once you’re ready and you hear that knock on the door, it’s show time! As soon as you open the door, make some growling or screaming sounds (this is the time to be as crazy as you want, without being told you’d need to be re-homed to an asylum). For more ambience and scare value, make sure to have some sounds prepared on your phone or speakers.
3. The water or slime balloons to end it all
“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the perfect water or slime balloon of them all?”
Get ready to throw some water balloons from the top windows without being noticed.
You heard that right, folks! All you need to do is fill up the balloons with cold water. Or, if you want to really get into the spirit of Halloween, use red dye to make the water seem like blood. Better yet, buy some slime and attempt to fill it into the balloons.
Once ready, you can either throw the balloons out of the window yourself or, if there are quite a few of you in the house, pair this up with tip 2 and work as a team to get better results. It works, trust me!
Following these tips may result in children peeing, screaming, and possibly egging or TPing (toilet papering) your house or front garden. Totally worth it, though!
I have tried all the tips mentioned above and would highly recommend them. They work like a charm.
But, as we are in different times, if you decide to try any of these tips, know it could lead to getting arrested for harassment by costume, assault via witch hands and balloons, or attempted kidnapping with hairy gorilla hands (even though we all know that’s not what you were planning — at all!).
Good luck, have a happy Halloween, and stay spooky!