Clouds of white hang overhead as enchanting snowflakes gently descend. Smells of fresh-scented pine and mulled wine fill the air and chestnuts roasting and marshmallows toasting on open fires warm the cold frosty night as the world stops to see the Christmas lights shimmer ever so bright.
The festive season is here for all to delight or maybe sit and cry. From Christmas shopping to vacations, gift wrapping and more, ’tis the season to be merry or fight over cranberries.
So, with that in mind and a whole season left to unwind, here are some tips for what not to do to get you through this festive time.
1. Last-minute Christmas shopping
Christmas is the time for giving; for buying something special for friends, colleagues and loved ones; for joy and happiness. But for the last-minute shoppers out there, it’s the time for climbing over people, yelling, fighting and even growling. It’s like being in your very own wild animal nature documentary.
It’s also the time for long queues, hitting people on the head with wrapping paper, and tug-of-war games so you can get that last bag of carrots.
So, whether you’re buying gifts or shopping for Christmas dinner, try going a little earlier than the day before to avoid the whole Arnold Schwarzenegger “Jingle All The Way” scenario!
2. Forgetting and leaving your kids at home, alone
As families gather with festive cheer, with loved ones near or abroad for a sunny vacation this year, the last thing you want to do if you have kids lying around is forget them and leave them at home on their own. Though, many of you may have considered it for a moment alone.
I’m pretty sure most of you reading this have seen Home Alone. Well, unlike Kevin McCallister, your kids will probably have the house trashed before you’ve left the driveway or burnt it down in time for your arrival home. What a great festive season you’ll have! And no, I will not take it back because you know it’s true.
So, maybe check that you’ve at least packed them with a suitcase or two, or you’ll end up midway through a flight, wishing you’d thought this through.
3. Last-minute gift wrapping
‘Tis the season for wrapping paper, bows, sticky tape and notes, all lined out in rows, ready to go.
With gifts shoved in cupboards, hidden in drawers or stuck between doors, now’s the time to go searching for them, to pile on the floor. Well, that’s if you remember where you put them all. Just don’t leave it till the night before to deal with the wrapping and taping war.
If all else fails, wrap as if you’re protecting the most fragile thing on earth with as much sticky tape as you can unearth; who cares about how nice it looks? You’re just trying to get through it all.
If you’ve given up by now and can’t go on anymore, give it half-wrapped, put a sticky bow on it or make sure you’ve bought a gift bag and just dump it in there.
Once you’ve managed to buy everything you need, somehow got your gifts ready and found your children: stick them all under the tree and you’re ready for Christmas morning!
Neither the Humorous Guide nor I will be liable for any decisions anyone makes after reading this that may get them in trouble.
Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a wonderful New Year!