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Where do bad memories go?

Have you ever wondered where bad memories go, when we replace them with good ones?

They go behind us – into the past – and only show up when we let them.

Situations can trigger bad memories to show up, but even then, they only mean something when we give them meaning. They can pull us down if we don’t cling to the good memories, that are constantly fighting to make us happy.

Every individual has at least one thing to say about memories, experiences, life, struggle, grudges, bitterness, and hurt.

These things never go away- they trap and condition people into something unimaginable, to the point of losing the tiniest bit of themselves. The only remedy is self-control. It sounds too simple, to be seen as a remedy to such difficult situations, but it’s really not as simple as it sounds.

Self-control can’t be bought

Neither can it be installed into someone like an app; it involves way more than that. It requires lots of sacrifice and effort- to build up this beautiful virtue.

This is the only difference between humans and animals – Their ability to control their emotions. Taking charge is another way to put it.

When bad things happen to us, and we are left with scars in our hearts or physical scars, we brood and gnash over such things, due to our human nature. We can often find ourselves tempted to take revenge on those that afflicted us with these bad memories/ experiences. Or we could even do something despicable, that we wouldn’t believe we could do, even when we are under the influence of alcohol. However, we would actually find ourselves doing it because of rage.

It hurts when one gets hurt

Yet, it seems to hurt more when you can’t retaliate. Most people believe that vengeance heals faster than forgiveness. Although it might work for them, the truth is, we shouldn’t pretend forgiveness doesn’t heal. I am not bullying forgiveness into anyone, but I want to show the beautiful side of it.

You can’t forgive if you don’t heal, because forgiveness is healing. This is what you do for yourself and not for the one who hurt you.

 I just hope that one day you may come to realise, that forgiveness is the freedom you gain, when your heart is no longer a prisoner of your past.

Move out of your past and move on. No need for a rush. It’s a gradual process. Just take it slow, and slow, and slow; then you will find yourself letting go, even without knowing you have.

Published by onyinye maureen kenneth

Doing what I do best.

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