We often hear about bad things happening around the world – from wars, disasters, conflicts, coups, and kidnappings to rape, murder, death, illness and accidents. More often than not, when we hear about these negative events we momentarily feel emotions like anger, sadness, or sympathy, but within five to ten minutes of the conversation about the incident ending, we move on to talk about other topics like nothing happened. This is not our fault; it happens because we are not directly connected to the negative incident. It is just statistics or news to us till someone we care about is directly involved.
As someone who is guilty of doing this constantly and who has been directly affected by a tragedy, I can say that experiencing a tragedy is one of the most painful things in the world. I realised first-hand how it felt to have the whole world move on in seconds after a tragedy had befallen me. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this – it is part of life. The exact second in which something negative happens to a person is the same second where something amazing is happening to or for someone else, such as a birthday, the birth of a child, a wedding, sex or acceptance into a dream school. Going through a painful event is horrible and no one but you understands how you are feeling at that time.
Though I respect what one goes through during that moment, it does not mean the world has come to an end. Often, people will give you support emotionally, physically, psychologically, or financially but at the end of the day, they will move on with their lives and some will do so like nothing happened and, honestly, there is nothing wrong with that. It is just how life is. It is a bit harsh but it is reality. So even if you wake up reliving that sad or painful moment in your life, you have to proceed and go on with your life. It is okay to cry or be really sad sometimes but you still have to live the rest of your life because time does not stop for anyone.
As someone who has been through tragedy, I have learnt and continue to learn how to deal with myself both from an emotional and psychological perspective when it comes to handling it. Here are some things I have learnt that could be of help to you:
- Acknowledge what has happened and what you are going through.
- Find something to do when you are sad or bored – I watch K-dramas and BL series, listen to music, read books, and hang out with friends (although I barely do the last one as I am more comfortable by myself).
- Write down your goals and the plans that would help you achieve them, and then integrate those plans into your everyday lifestyle.
- Lastly, always remember that life is short so do not restrict yourself from doing things you love to do as far as they do not hurt anyone, including yourself.
I acknowledge how difficult it might be to start, but I assure you that in as much as bad things happen sometimes, there are good things that we could look out for. We might not realise it but there are people who love us and would be sad if something bad happened to us. Congratulations in advance and always remember that life goes on.